Fair Feels Good

Sophea came to me one day at work to show me “the book” - a large encyclopedia her grandmother had given her on the eve of her marriage. Not understanding written Khmer, my only expression was a blank one. “Tammy,” she exclaimed, “its THE book, the important book for women!”

Sophea went on to explain that when a Cambodian women gets married, tradition and culture dictate that she behave in a certain way - and this was the book that explained it all. She was required to read it from cover to cover in order to be a good wife. And I would see her studying it at her desk for months to come.

The Book serves to train Cambodian women in their expected social roles. Like a celestial dancer, women are required to talk softly, walk lightly and be well-mannered at all times. It takes about two thousands pages to explain the rest!

Growing up, in Africa, we were taught the exact opposite - talk loudly or others will think you have secrets! Unable to control the level of my booming voice, I tried to tiptoe past Sophea and at least walk like a good Cambodian woman. As she progressed through the book page by page, I became more and more self-conscious of my big feet hammering up and down the stairs that linked our offices!

I remembered my big feet embarrassment when I was recommended this video on You Tube. Its a beautiful and heartwarming account of Cambodian dancers, their hands so delicate, like lotus flowers - enjoy!